sirriamnis | Reading

Dinner with the latex gang. It's my next-to-last hurrah before I turn into a temporary teetotaler on Tuesday. (Alliteration and assonance ahoy!) Sugar Hill, down the western slope of Capitol Hill on Pine St., has pretty great Thai eats & cocktails. Must... not... be jealous of how women half my age look in latex. And it occurs to me that my goodness, I know a lot of local sex workers, both cis and trans.

Shallow fashion details: the same little purple skater dress that I wore to KinkFest last weekend. My excuse was that I wanted to show how the yogurt sauce stains had mysteriously disappeared, but really, that dress is the best one I have for warm(er) weather. Accessories: butterfly-themed. Boots: silver cowboy, from Stetson.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House

cupcake_goth

Tuesday was "wake up with a pray for a coma" migraine, as in I tapped out of work the moment I was able to focus my eyes on the Slack app on my phone, then passed out for a few more hours. Then went downstairs, had food and coffee, took meds, and spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep.

Which means, of course, that today is the rebound migraine; it's not overwhelmingly painful, but oh, the brain fog and vertigo. And I have two different sets of release notes that need to be cleaned up by the time I log off tonight, whee.

One good thing was today was migraine Botox day, so that'll take care of one breed of migraines. But that meant I lost time during the work day, and there's those release notes, and everyone who had rush projects last week are off at a customer expo this week which means no one is getting back to me with review notes and UGH. It's only Wednesday, but this week has been forever.

sistawendy

I did indeed go to Lambert House for the second time this week last night to rerun database queries. Ken the director was there this time and found a couple of bugs in the queries, which were luckily easy to fix.

And on the subject of attendance figures, he had a disturbing observation: not just Lambert House, but every non-profit that serves youth has seen a significant drop in the number of youth coming through the door since the worst of the pandemic ended. Says Ken, the yoof are all on their phones and haven’t really learned how to socialize in person. It’s reached the point where parents have been calling Ken for help in getting their kids to put down the devices and, you know, be people. He’s at a loss, and so am I. I will say, though, that the trans groups that I facilitate have shifted from 100% video a year ago to about half-and-half online and in person. I’m not hugely worried for the long term. Yet.

Speaking of getting out of the house, I had an excuse to get out of Lambert House early: K, another trans woman who’s been to the Devil Girl house on dates, met me at Time Warp. For you non-locals, it’s an old-school video game arcade with a bar that turns into the trans women’s hangout on Tuesday night. I’ve never seen a space that wasn’t explicitly trans with such a solid majority of trans femmes. Seriously, the cis dudes looked out of place and a bit suspicious.

And how’s K? Laid off, “polysaturated”, remodeling her house, and looking fabulous. She says she wants to see me again before I turn into a recluse for the couple of weeks before surgery. That’s going to be a bit of a trick, because a) Dancer has priority, and b) I start voluntary quarantine on Tuesday.

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House
Current Music: Mozart

sistawendy

Thing #1: I seem to be able to sleep nearly seven hours if I go to bed at 2300 instead of 2200. It's kind of hilarious getting out of bed to pee, thinking it's too early to start the day, and then hearing your alarm go off three seconds later.

Thing #2: I should always ask if Lambert House has their data entry caught up before I run quarterly queries. I may be taking the bus back there in the next few days because they weren't caught up last night. What makes this more complicated is that there are now two data sets entered by two different (groups of? paid?) people: one for Seattle, and one for King County outside Seattle.

Thing #3: I should have made sure Dr. Funnyname sent the results of my labs & exam to the Sculptor, because the latter's office emailed me yesterday to ask where all of that was. Mayunn, I don't need that kind of stress. If all goes according to plan surgery is in three weeks exactly.

Thing #4: If I get an email about the Wendling's electric bill – he has a separate meter down there in his apartment – remind him immediately, because he might space it.

Huh. There seems to be a theme with most of these. Do I enjoy being the executive function for other people? No, but I enjoy it even less when things get dropped on the floor.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House
Current Music: Sky Cries Mary, "Circus Church"

jeliza

The Great Push of Productivity that happens every year before Norwescon went well, and didn't happen entirely in the four days before the con, which I am calling a sign of growth, or perhaps just a sign of improved medication.

I had to drive there to set up, and I just need to take a moment to whine about $22 for less than three hours of parking. OMG. Luckily, I was able to take the light rail there and back on check-out day, so two reasonably pleasant hour long train trips plus two mini workouts in the airport - airport shuttle leg of the trip yay. It was tiring enough that I missed the ideal cheap-candy window that is Easter evening, however.

I saw ... nobody except the art show staff. I am not even sure who of my friends and acquaintances still goes to Norwescon, so my half-assed late "I could do Sunday lunch with people" idea was kiboshed.

All the pieces on my panel that didn't sell were grouped in the center of the panel in what I would have assumed was the best light. IDEK.

cupcake_goth

- During one of my recent thrifting outings I found a copy of The Velvet Room, a Zilpha Keatley Snyder book I don't remember! With a fantastic pink cover, no less.

- Remember me mentioning that the neurosurgeon back specialist referred me to the targeted physio side of his team? I hadn't heard from them by last Friday, so I called, went through the labyrinth of call options, and finally spoke with someone who could schedule an appointment. The earliest they could find was June 11th. I'm unhappy, but the Stroppy One is LIVID. We started this process in Nov./Dec., and I've gotten some suggestions but no real help. I'm going to see if I can speak to someone about what will be discussed at the June 11 appointment and if we can make sure I get the targeted injections in my hip at that appointment, because ...

- We're going to the UK at the beginning of July. This means a lot of walking, and we want to make sure that I'm not in pain the entire trip. I'm still going to bring a fuckton of muscle relaxers with me.

- Related to the trip: During our last visit, Thea mentioned her mobility scooter and how it's made all the difference for her being able to do things. This prompted the Stroppy One to very gently bring the up the possibility of me renting one for the length of time we'll be spending in Edinburgh. I said that I understood that it could help me and we should look into it; I sat there for 10-ish minutes getting more and more upset, then burst into tears and said I didn't want to be that fat American on a disability scooter with no obvious disability. The Stroppy One said he understood and that he had been expecting me to have a freakout over that exact thing. (!!!) So that's a thing we need to discuss more, and hopefully I won't have a complete meltdown.

"But Jilli, you go out walking around, what makes you think you wouldn't be able to while on vacation?" This is true, but I generally don't do that every day, and when I do go out and Do Things, I usually end up taking muscle relaxers and pain meds when I get home AND spend the following day resting. So yeah, this is a big concern and the Brain Raccoons are determined to make me miserable about it. Ugh.

sistawendy

SNAFU #1: So I have an event in Portland this weekend that I bought my ticket for in November. Fast forward to February. I couldn't find my hotel reservation, so I made one at a hotel several miles from the event.

Fast forward some more to this week. I had a reminder in my calendar about a conveniently located hotel reservation that I thought I'd forgotten to make months ago. Sure enough, I'd misfiled it under "trans" instead of "travel". So I conferred with the Tickler, who's joining me, and cancelled the less convenient reservation. At least this SNAFU is taker care of.

SNAFU #2: For the above event, I need proof of the vaccination that I got in February. I had said proof, but I didn't know I'd need it and therefore recycled it. If I can't get said proof, I'll need to bring a COVID test.

SNAFU #3: The appliance installers were here again this afternoon. Yes, I have a 220V outlet in my kitchen, but the oven-and-induction-cooktop combo needs a 40A circuit breaker. The circuit breaker that it's plugged into is 20A. Why it only trips when the stove is not in use is a mystery. It was after hours by then, so the installers said I should call their boss tomorrow morning to figure out what in the hell we're going to do about this.

Current Mood: Facepalm!
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House
Current Music: Kate Bush, "The Sensual World"

cupcake_goth

Everything is making me tired and meh and/or anxious. Work, concerns about Erzabet, my stupid mortal shell, the ongoing dumpster fire of the world right now ... all of it.

- Erzabet did seem better once she had the steroids, so we are getting a new version of her nightly ear cream that will be steroids + the treatment for the hyperthyroid issue. According to the vet, she's "perfect on paper", so maybe the issue with her intestines was general inflammation. Don't take after me, Erzabet!

- I say that because I have learned that garlic is REALLY not my friend, and causes a huge amount of inflammation. Between that and tomatoes causing the same thing, I may no longer be able to indulge in Mexican or Italian food. I am full of woe.

- I had the appointment with the neurologist back surgery specialist, and he was very helpful. The upshot is right now there isn't anything on the images that shows I'd be a good candidate for back surgery. So the sibling team to his is going to reach out to me so I can start targeted physiotherapy with them for my right hip, and have injections of a cocktail of steroids, lidocaine, and painkillers. If those things don't help, they'll discuss it with the neurologist back surgery specialist to figure out what the next steps might be.

- Work is ... yeah. There are several things I'm stuck on because I'm waiting on other people or automated processes. I wouldn't be worried about this if it wasn't for the woman who's pinch-hitting for my boss (who is out for family issues) really likes continuous updates on all projects. The pinch-hitting manager was also the manager for two of the writers who were let go, so of course my anxiety has latched onto that.

- I'm having a difficult time to work up the energy to do any witchcraft-related work. I want to, but the brain fog and apathy have been crushing. I also want to start keeping a paper and pen journal; it's something my therapist has strongly recommended and I want to do it, but brain fog and apathy.

Wow, I'm whiny. I keep fantasizing about being medically ordered to take a week at the seaside like Victorian invalid.

sistawendy

But first: the breaker that my stove is plugged into tripped in the middle of the night. I'm pretty sure it wasn't in use the other two times it tripped, either. I've called the dealer.

The pre-surgery prep has begun in earnest. I spent yesterday getting a whole bunch of blood drawn and an EKG, and this morning I switched to dandruff shampoo. Yes, really, per the Sculptor's orders. My resting heart rate was even lower than it's been measured before – "half the normal rate", said Dr. Funnyname – but he figures that if I can exercise, which I do, I should be a-OK for getting my face rearranged. Hurrah!

Rather less hurrah is that I can't pluck anything anywhere or get sugared. Shaving only, with a single bladed razor, and not too closely. Haaate. But! See you all August.

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House
Current Music: The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows"

brigid

It's spring so I've done the yearly deforestation of my legs and today I wore a dress with no tights or leggings, just bare skin.

I felt cute but also it was horrible.

I was constantly afraid the front was going to creep up (I have a very large stomach). My office chair has a mesh seat which I could feel through the skirt, and against the backs of my knees. It was breezy enough out that I had to hold the skirt down so it didn't fly up.

Every spring I resolve to experiment with femininity a bit more, and I lurch headlong toward skirts and dresses and realize anew how inconvenient they are.

I have a knee length navy A-Line skirt that I'm going to wear on Thursday, though, with sheer diamond-patterned navy tights. Assuming it doesn't rain. It's raining on Tuesday, which is also my busy day when I'm literally and figuratively running around, meaning I'm going to wear trousers and sturdy shoes.

I'm remote on Wednesdays so it's a pajama day. Luxury!

It was in the lower 80s today which I want to say is very warm for March but it's really not. We've been having temperature extremes for so long now, even though my benchmark remains my childhood. There's thunderstorms overnight and tomorrow and the temperature's going to drop to the 40s by Wednesday, then back up to the 60s on Thursday. I hate these wild temperature swings! Today was a little glimpse of summer, although not quite as humid, and I was cute.

sistawendy

Thing #1: I really need two hours to do my nails, not just one. I wrecked my freshly-done nails on Saturday evening while lacing myself (poorly) into my corset. Yes, the lighting at the event was mostly forgiving, but I'm definitely redoing my nails before I live for Portland on Friday.

Thing #2: Replacing my tankless gas water heater with an electric one would require a 220V outlet in a place that currently only has a 110V. I don't think that's happening, at least not soon.

Thing 3: Cooking things on an induction stove is a much better experience than gas because it boils things so darn quickly. I'm not tempted to wander away and do something else while it heats up. And yes, that reduces overall cooking time. I made my best beans & rice in months last night.

Current Mood: awake
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House
Current Music: LCD Sound System, "Dance Yourself Clean"

sistawendy

I went to the third annual Seattle Fetish Ball last night. I'm awfully grateful to Past Nun for springing for a "VIP" ticket. That meant I got a seat when I needed one, which was much of the time because I was, of course, wearing my Fluevog Grand National boots. Yeah, the ones with the 4" cloven heels. The balls of my feet feel a little bruised, but I don't feel any connective tissue damage.

Most eye-catching outfit: dude made a Vatican Swiss Guard uniform out of latex. You know, the ones that haven't changed since the 16th century. A colorful and complicated piece of work.

Dark Garden Corsets was there. I had to say hi because a) I was wearing their work, and b) they were literally on the way from the bar to my table. Autumn offered to re-lace my corset (!) but then got busy, so one of her employees did it. Let me tell you, I could feel the difference. I could feel as I was doing it earlier that even by my own necessarily low standards, I'd messed up lacing myself in. But the folks at Dark Garden are experts. And believe it or not, getting laced in properly is more about aesthetics and long-term comfort for me than it is about the act of getting laced in. And I note that I didn't need to hold onto anything, even in my murderous heels.

The crowd wasn't as large as last time, but I think the performers were better this time. ( I should probably put this under a cut. ) Ah, the hysteresis of recurring events. It's good to be amongst People Like Me in all our finery.

And speaking of people like me, brunch on the hill at 0900 (ungh – A-the-lady couldn't get a later reservation, try as she might) for the Lambert House trans group facilitators. Yes, there was talk about the horrendous political situation: at least one university in Texas has deputized freelance potty police, and that's just one example. But we like hanging out together so much that we were reluctant to go our separate ways.

Napped for two and a half hours starting at 1100. I think I can function. I need to get some work done because I'll be out most of tomorrow and Friday.

Current Mood: awake
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House
Current Music: LCD Soundsystem, "I Can Change"

cupcake_goth

Yesterday some friends and I all felt well enough to actually carry through on a tentative plan we made! (All of us are some flavor of chronically ill and in pain, so this was kind of a big deal.) We went to a local pop-up "flea market". It was not a flea market in the traditional sense, it was a market full of vintage clothing etc. vendors. It was fun to wander through, but the only thing I bought was a back issue of Fangoria - a vampire special! At one stall I looked at a really pretty ceramic trinket box; I turned it over to look at the price ($20), and found the scraps of a Goodwill sticker still clinging to it. Yeah, no.

After we grabbed a snack, we hit two thrift stores and I Got Things! Two very pretty trinket boxes (a glass one with roses painted on the lid, the other is wood with mother of pearl inlay), three vintage gothic romances, a pajama set that is very Gothic Heroine in style, a candle snuffer, and a footed silver serving platter. We also found one of the most terrifying dolls I've ever seen, and no, none of us bought it.

Look, I'm a connoisseur of creepy dolls, and even I wouldn't want that thing in my house.

Because Leaving The House means proper clothes, I wore one of the Selkie-style blouses that the Madwoman in the Attic made for me. This style of blouse is possibly my new favorite wardrobe item, so it's a good thing I have ... um ... four of them already.

(Yep, I need to take the bust in a little bit. Simple enough.)

Of course, yesterday's outing has left me sore and headache-y today, so it's a good thing I hadn't made plans.

brigid

If you're interested in neocities, or making websites generally, I have a neocities website that has some information on how to create websites and general fun stuff to do online.

Dink! Donk? Dunk. is a fun little project that isn't fully finished - the red square is meant to be replaced by an icon of some sort - but is stable enough for now.

I should probably put a "new" or "updated" page for when I add things, which I do from time to time.

sistawendy

Bus: downtown to get on...

Train: ...the 2 line to Redmond! I got on the very first train from Seattle to Redmond. That turned out to have been no mean feat because Sound Transit keep making people get off at ID/Chinatown and delaying that first train; I thought I was going to be hours after the first train, but neau. ID station was packed, and I was lucky to have gotten on a couple of stops to the north.

Judkins Park, the last station eastbound before the bridge? Packed, because Seattleites love trains. As the train rolled on I-90 over the only train tracks on a floating bridge in the world, there was a fireboat on Lake Washington spraying in celebration. Aw, yeah. And I sure hope lots of teens use the Mercer Island station to... get off Mercer Island.

Observations:

The Seattle stations look cooler than the Bellevue stations because of course they do.
Since it had been over a decade since I'd been to Bellevue, I'd forgotten how uppy and downy and marshy Bellevue is. So there are elevated stations, tunnels, curves, low speeds, and closely-spaced stations from South Bellevue to Overlake. Downtown Bellevue & Wilburton are right across I-405 from each other.
Wilburton is two blocks from Uwajimaya Bellevue, hell yeah.
Microsoft has a spiffy-looking covered pedestrian bridge over SR 520 next to "Redmond Technology" station. That's right, there's a light rail station that pretty much serves nothing but Microsoft.
For you concert-goers, there's a station right at Marymoor Park, which was a damn fine idea.
Good grief, there's been a lot of construction in Redmond and Bellevue since I moved away. It's still going on.
My excuse for going to Redmond? Coffee and a sandwich at Victor's.
I have once more at least passed through every station in Seattle's light rail network.
Did you ever notice how the synthesized announcements on the 1 line intoned "the 1 line" like "the one line that we have"? Well, no more! We have two! And they're connected! So there!

Next stop: Capitol Hill, for the No Kings march. (I almost typed "no kinks". Screw that.) Ran into MOOers! Arrived just in time to march from Cal Anderson Park to the Seattle Center.

On foot I saw: awesome signs, many hand-made. A group in orange jumpsuits with the cabinet's names on their backs. Hong Kong & Ukrainian flags. Trans & Queer Pride flags. Two Statue of Liberty costumes. Inflatable amphibians. Did not hang out for speechifying afterwards because I can still feel my feet throb, but I still walked the walk. On the bus home, I saw a succinctly winning sign: in big, purple letters, "NO."

And tonight? The Seattle Fetish Ball. And 0900 tomorrow? Brunch with my fellow trans volunqueers from Lambert House. And Monday? Pre-surgery doctor's appointments. I seem to have lost my damn marbles.

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: the living room of the Devil Girl House
Current Music: LCD Sound System, "Dance Yourself Clean"

brigid

I'm making pasta e fagioli soup today.

I came home yesterday with groceries and immediately put the beans to soak so i didn't forget.

I woke up this morning, brushed my teeth, and immediately started dicing carrots and celery etc. Gotta get this shit together. MY CHILD NEEDS SOUP.

Specifically, my autistic child with ARFID and a very limited pool of acceptable foods loves the veggie-filled minestrone soup I make (as long as it doesn't have cheese in it) (or garbanzo beans).

Said child is currently having A Very Nice Lunch with their dad after an unpleasant medical appointment and I'm going to get up in a bit and cook some italian sausage and assemble two half pans of lasagna. It's my batch cooking weekend. My kid's going to college the year after next and that shit isn't cheap and we need to eat out less. How "isn't cheap" is it? Community college now costs the same per semester as the state college I attended in the late 1990s. What the fuck.

My kid has a career plan that involves "working in an office for the state and creating art is a hobby/side hustle" so an associates degree with work study in an administrative office is the plan, followed perhaps by transferring to a state school to finish the degree with office work through a temp agency. My child has a career plan at the age of 17. I'm 47 and don't have a career plan other than "keep doing what I'm doing I guess?????".

Anyway, after washing onion off my hands I applied a dab of Iron Snow to the inside of my wrist. Scent notes are "Simple syrup, cardamom pods, pamplemousse, amber, fresh snow, orris, fennel, and effervescence."

This goes on smelling very thin, almost watery. Not like petrichor, but like... if you have dough then you can't see through it, it's opaque, but if you roll it thin enough you can see light through it. Sometimes smells are the same. They're thin, they're watery, they're transient.

It blooms on the skin, though it remains subtle. The initial smell was almost solely weak mandarin orange, which I guess is the pamplemousse. After a few minutes the smell is deeper. I don't get much cardamom, there's no fennel that I notice, and I'm not sure what orris is meant to smell like. I'm picking up the sweetness of simple syrup and I don't know what "fresh snow" is supposed to smell like but by god this DOES have the edge of winter air right before it snows.

With a name like "iron snow" I was expecting something a little darker or deeper.

I'm not a huge fan of this. It just isn't for me. I can see it being exactly what someone else loves, though.

List of all reviews here.

cupcake_goth

We took Miss Erzabet No Biting to the vet yesterday; despite her thyroid ear goo, she's lost weight, is still peeing and pooing everywhere, has been throwing up a lot, has been drinking a LOT of water, and has days of sneezing and being listless.

They drew blood, did x-rays, then gave her some fluids, vitamins, and steroids. The vet said that we'll have test results in a few days, but she has lost weight and just looking at her he's pretty sure there's something wrong. On the x-rays her kidneys looked smaller than they should, and her intestines "didn't look right", but he needs the tech to increase the contrast before he can make a diagnosis.

He used the phrase "be prepared in case of end of life procedures are needed". Not a phrase anyone ever wants to hear, and it sent me straight to my anti-anxiety meds.

For all we know, she'll be put on an additional med and she'll be healthy and happy for years. That's what I'm hoping for. Because while I love(d) all of our kitties, past and present, Miss Erzabet No Biting is the spiritual successor to my beloved Dread Beastie, and I'm not ready for her to leave.

Dear 2026, DO NOT.

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sirriamnis

March 2011

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Page generated Apr. 10th, 2026 07:23 pm

On a wave of mutilation

Reading

shiny eats, etc.

(no subject)

a whirlwind Tuesday night

things I've learned over the last couple of days

easter means norwescon

I can't think of an appropriate bandom lyric

snafoolery

(no subject)

Let the home & body improvements commence!

Summer Breeze (makes me feel fine)

things I learned over the weekend

outings, sexy and otherwise

(no subject)

Neocities

Nun travels by foot, bus, and train.

Sucreabeille: Iron Snow

No. Do not want.

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March 2011

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